Shakespeare wisely said ‘Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.’
The thing is, we seem to be addicted to judging; always deciding whether something is good or bad. And don’t we just love to do it, especially with people! The sad thing is, once we have made up our mind about someone, we always look at them ‘through that filter’. For instance, once we’ve decided someone is lazy, annoying or stupid, we tend to always look at them with that idea in the back of our minds and it becomes difficult to see they can be hardworking, friendly or smart.
Choose to see it differently
However, YOU are in control and can change your thinking. You can choose to see a situation differently. You can choose to see a person differently. You can stop thinking about what you are thinking about whenever you choose to and focus on something different.
Watch your thoughts. You become what you think about.
Your thoughts, your state of mind, are the windows through which you see the world. Be happy and the world looks like a fun place. Be miserable and that same world looks like a dreary place. Which would you rather inhabit?
Feed your mind on positive thoughts, well-meaning thoughts; thoughts of love, compassion and forgiveness. It has to be genuine though. Thinking a happy thought about someone and inwardly resenting them, does not work. It’s that deep thought in your heart that matters.
Ask Powerful Questions
Sometimes a situation seems beyond our control and you may be feeling there is nothing you can do about it. Ultimately though, there is still something you can do – you can change your attitude. Ask…
How can I see this differently?
What am I missing?
How can it get better than this?
What is great about this problem?
What is the lesson here?
These questions let you reach beyond what’s right in front of you, so the situation seems less inevitable and acts as a springboard to something better and more positive.
Use a tool
The wonderful thing is that changing your thoughts can be done. Tony Robbins promotes this Fast Change Tool in his book Awaken the Giant Within:
Change your FOCUS. Think about something else, start doing something else.
Change your LANGUAGE. Instead of saying “I am angry”, say “I am peeved” or “I am disenchanted”. For a ‘negative’ feeling, use words that are less intense.
For a ‘positive’ feeling, use words that are even more intense. So instead of saying “it is nice”, say “it is fantastic” or “it is spectacular”.
Change your PHYSIOLOGY. Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, walk tall, put a smile on your face, eyes up ahead instead of looking down.
Change your thoughts, Change your life
Your thoughts have a vibration, a quality, an energy. Thoughts of shame and guilt have a lower vibration than thoughts of love and forgiveness. Like attracts like, so your thoughts attract more of what you are focused on into your life. A whole information industry has been built around the Law of Attraction. I have heard people say it does not work. That’s like saying gravity does not work. If you drop something, it falls to the ground every time. There is never a time when it does not, given the laws of physics. It’s the same with the Law of Attraction; it works all the time, with precision, whether you believe in it or not; whether you understand it or not.
So become a spy in your own life. Watch your thoughts. Change the ones that bring pain and dissatisfaction into your life, the ones that don’t serve you, especially judgements about others. Take Shakespeare’s maxim to heart: ‘Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.’
Ultimately, control lies with you. It’s in your thoughts. Keep reaching for a higher thought. Make it a habit and your life will change.
Photo Credit: Carlos Delgado [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
