Patience & Presence

No sooner had I published the blog on Alzheimer’s, when I came across an article discussing how to approach a conversation with an aging parent who is no longer safe living independently and who you feel would be better off in a care home or assisted living facility.

A tough conversation; probably one of the most difficult you could have. It’s a fairly long article, but well worth your time: Preparing for a Crucial Conversation with an Aging Parent.

And wow! What heartfelt and compassionate responses to the Alzheimer’s blog. Thank you to everyone who commented and shared their experiences. It is always much appreciated.

Your recommendations for coping with such a situation included

Patience
Being open and flexible
Lots of support and understanding
Reading the person concerned and noticing the signs that indicate stress or assent
Willingness to change plans at the last minute if the situation demands that
Appreciation that although the diagnosis may be the same and there may be similarities between those affected, each person is unique and you have to learn and adapt accordingly.

If I had to pick two things that stood out for me from your recommendations, it would be patience and presence. Patience with the person concerned and presence so you are alert to their need in the moment and can respond appropriately in a supporting and respectful way.

There was also some thought for the carers and family of those with Alzheimer’s. Lots of support is recommended and strong encouragement to share and seek support so you don’t deal with it alone. For many people, this may go against the grain. Talking, getting it off your chest in a safe and non-judgemental environment, being truly listened to, is healing.

There is something affirming in being honoured and acknowledged in being listened to in that way. You go away feeling stronger and better about yourself and the situation. Now I have to ‘fez up’ and say these are not my words. It’s from a client of mine after one of our sessions. ‘The gift of being listened to is a special gift,’ she added. ‘You don’t get it very often.’

If there’s something you want to talk about and be listened to, get in touch. Call +44 208 798 0661 or email riana@rianaavis.com. My gift to you.