Just before Easter, I had the opportunity to speak to a group of people who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. There were about eight of these souls, ranging in age from 60 to 85. Gentle souls, all of them and so appreciative of the opportunity to come together once a month and participate in activities organised especially for them.
My talk was about Nelson Mandela and in particular the statue erected in honour of his 90th birthday outside the gates of the Drakenstein Correctional Centre, a low-security prison in the Western Cape of South Africa.
It seems there had been quite a lot of build up to this talk. As we waited for everyone to arrive, one lady came up to me and shared how she had been looking forward to it for weeks. She kept asking her daughter how many sleeps till day of the talk. She could barely wait. An avid admirer of Mandela, she had encouraged her children and grandchildren to learn all about him.
I am glad to say the talk was a success. Discussions on the topic continued long after I left, a sure sign it was a hit, I heard from the organiser. It was such a pleasure to do it and I’m glad they enjoyed it.
I have great admiration for the organisers. They do their best to ease what can be a frightening diagnosis and journey into the unknown. Each and every one of the group there that day, was someone’s parent, someone’s spouse, someone’s friend, someone’s brother, sister, aunt or uncle. Those people would be affected too, just as much, sometimes more than the person with the diagnosis. I always contend that those around the person with a mental health condition need just as much support as those with the diagnosis. Everyone concerned has to come to terms with the situation and find a way forward. It is a time of adjustment and personal growth if you are open to it; or a time of pain if you resist.
Personally, I choose the path of adjustment and growth. It is not always easy. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to that state of mind where I don’t judge, don’t whinge and don’t play the victim. I find this a much more resourceful and peaceful state than resisting. When I rant about why me, why now, why this… and start declaring how it should be and how unfair the situation is, when I am in the middle of that resistance, I feel heavy, trapped and can hardly breath. So I choose differently. I stop ranting, stop judging and feeling sorry for myself, start accepting things as they are and as I let go, I start feeling more peaceful.
That’s how I do it. What works for you? How do you get from a state of resistance to peace?
Photo credit: travellight
