One of the habits I am cultivating is to write every day. The idea is to write three pages of A4 every day and just write whatever comes to your mind. The purpose is to get the creative juices flowing and let things bubble up from the sub-conscious – thoughts, insights, wisdom, worries you did not even know was there.
So if you don’t know what to write, and I am often in this space, just write that. ‘I don’t have a clue what to write about today and so I am just sitting here writing whatever word comes into my mind.’
Sometimes I use some coaching techniques to get the juices flowing. ‘So if you asked yourself what it is you want to write today, what would that be?’ I even write that down, that question. Everything that comes up, I write down. And I notice when ideas come up, where they well up from: from somewhere in my head or from somewhere in my gut.
Right now I am noticing that I use the word ‘I’ a lot. That reminds me of a friend of mine who recently changed her name. She went to an ashram in honour of her master and came back with a spiritual name, Atmadayaki, which means ‘soulful and bestowing’. That name describes her inherent nature. She IS soulful and bestowing. And every time she uses and hears the name, she is reminded of her nature. This means that whenever she is NOT soulful and bestowing, using the name is a wakeup call to return to being soulful and bestowing.
She also speaks in the third person, meaning she never refers to herself as ‘I’. Instead of saying, ‘I am calling you to discuss….’ she says ‘Ma Atmadayaki is calling you to discuss…’
At first it was a bit strange, until she explained. Speaking in the third person allows you to take a step back and see yourself objectively; so you speak as if about someone else. It helps you to disassociate from the ‘I’ identity of the ego. It helps you take yourself, your situation and your interpretation of your world less seriously. It means you don’t become so attached to your expectations of how things should be and your version of the truth. It allows a little room for a different interpretation and it becomes easier to cut the other person some slack. It becomes easier to cut yourself some slack. This is especially good for those of us who are very hard on ourselves.
Those are all my reasons why talking about yourself in the third person might be a good idea. I am sure Ma Atmadayaki has more reasons and can offer additional perspective.
The ‘Ma’ in ‘Ma Atmadayaki’ is a way of showing respect. Having grown up in South Africa, I am familiar with this word as a term of respect. In Botswana, the terms ‘Rra’and ‘Mma’ are used in a similar way. A man is typically addressed as ‘Rra’ as in ‘How are you today, Rra?’ and a woman is addressed as ‘Mma’ as in ‘Mma Ramotswe is the very clever lady detective and the owner of The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency’.
It can be quite disorientating when someone talks to you about themselves in the third person. My initial reaction was ‘who have I missed, who else is here?’ Some people ‘get’ it very quickly, others just cannot adjust. Talking to officialdom is particularly difficult and then Ma Atmadayaki reverts to using ‘I’ when referring to herself.
Interesting! Interesting that Riana should notice she uses ‘I’ a lot. Interesting experiment to talk about yourself in the third person to see what comes up for you. Just notice, you don’t need to analyse, critique, evaluate – just notice. ‘Play with it’, as Ma Atmadayaki would say and let Riana know what came up for you. Just here below … add your comment.
