Feel the feelings… feel the feelings.

‘What feelings?’ you may ask. Those that are oh, so painful; emotionally so painful it hurts somewhere in your body.

Those that are gut wrenching and nauseating and making you feel embarrassed or ashamed for having them.  Those you don’t want to feel. Those you have been stuffing down and putting a lid on for so long, you cannot even remember ever having those feelings.

Now…  I know there can be a huge debate around the difference between feelings and emotions. I don’t want to go there. For purposes of this article, let’s agree feelings and emotions are the same thing.

When we deny our feelings, when we say it’s OK when it isn’t really, when we carry on as though nothing has happened when our whole world just collapsed, we simply store up trouble for ourselves.

It is much better to admit to yourself how you are feeling, feel those feelings and find a way to deal with them in a healthy manner. And this is where I get frustrated, because many are willing to tell you ‘deal with those feelings or they’ll come back and bite you’, but few are prepared to tell or show you how.

So I was all ears when I came across an article by Mark I Myhre who blogs at Emotionaire.com where he discusses how to feel those feelings.

Before we get to how you do it, here’s a neat working definition of a feeling, a.k.a an emotion, from Raphael Cushnir:  ‘An emotion is a message from your mind delivered to your body as a physical sensation.’

And this is what Mark’s article is about. He talks about paying attention to the bodily sensations that come up around your emotions.

He talks about the shape, the substance and the voice of these sensations.

He talks about how, when you start paying attention to these sensations, you discover that they are part of feelings that you have denied for a long time. They want to come home; they want to be acknowledged like little children. And when you do, when you allow the feelings, pay attention to the sensations they bring up, acknowledge them and integrate them, you become more powerfully you. You become wiser, more centered, more at peace. Life becomes easier.

Mark explains it in detail in his article Emotional Health – What Millions Still Don’t Know.

I highly recommend reading the article and testing it out for yourself. If you’re worried about strong emotions coming up, work with someone who can support you in your endeavour. It can be quite challenging dealing with strong emotions on your own. Take care of yourself and get the support you need. Make sure you work with someone you trust and who will not judge you. I can be that someone for you – you can contact me here.

Photo Credit: Claudio Jule