Appreciation and Gratitude

Appreciation – More than a Feel Good Mantra

You know that old adage ‘stop and smell the roses’ and its twin, ‘count your blessings?’

Well, research is showing that appreciation and gratitude are actually all good for you.

Being grateful means you are aware of the good things in your life, notice the things others do for you and say thanks.

Appreciation on the other hand is actively looking for what is good, even in situations where it is not obvious. Appreciation, it seems, is the Big Daddy of gratitude.

The purpose of all this appreciation and gratitude is that it makes you FEEL GOOD.

Research has also found that appreciation and gratitude can lower your blood pressure and stabilise your heart rhythm.

If you can look at a situation that would normally stress you out and find something to appreciate in that, your stress levels are likely to gently undulate rather than hit the roof.

Yeah-but…

So for example, when you are stuck in a traffic jam, you may be thinking: ‘Blast! I am going to be late for that appointment; so-and-so is not going to be best pleased; he/she’ll be furious!’

Thoughts like these increase your stress levels. What could you possibly appreciate? Admittedly, you have to be willing to look.

- You could appreciate the unexpected quiet time you have to think.
- You can simply appreciate the fact that you have a means of transportation, which sometime soon will take you to your destination.
- You can admire the sleek lines of the other vehicles and appreciate the artistry of the design.
- You can find some music you enjoy, sing along and even make dance moves in your seat. That may even get you a smile or two from the other drivers!

Make it a habit

Like any other habit, it would take conscious effort to cultivate a habit of regular appreciating what is going on for and around you.

Esther and Jerry Hicks, authors of Ask and it is Given suggest deliberately setting aside 10 to 15 minutes when you start such a practice. As the feel-good feelings increase and the habit of appreciation becomes effortless, you’ll find yourself doing it all the time, a few seconds here, a few there, just because it feels so good and you want to continue to feel good.

As you’re driving to work, you may think

- I love my car.
- I love how reliable my vehicle is.
- I have so much fun driving it.
- I’m grateful for my job.

Years ago when I used to travel to work by bus, I would often catch myself thinking

- I am so grateful I can just sit, relax and enjoy the journey.
- I love the time to read on the bus.
- I love the intense colours of spring and summer flowers.
- I love the cosiness of the winter darkness and the promise of warmth behind closed doors.

You may want to start out your practice of appreciation with easy situations where you already feel reasonably good; then start muscling in on more challenging situations once you have built up your ‘appreciation muscles.’

Be Authentic

It is also important to be authentic. Don’t simply say thank you for services and support that you were not entirely happy with. You have to FEEL appreciation for it to have an impact.

For example, say your friend suggests dinner and a movie and graciously organises everything. You enjoy the catch-up over dinner, but the food is terrible and the movie even worse.

Saying ‘what a great evening’ is not being truthful.

Rather say ‘I enjoyed our chat over dinner. It’s great to hear what you’ve been doing lately.’

That way you are focused on the bit you genuinely appreciated as well as being sincere.

Get a Better Relationship

One of the most powerful benefits of appreciation is that it leads to improved relationships.

Through appreciation, you pay attention to the things you value about your partner, friend or co-worker. It promotes respect and mutual cooperation. You simply cannot feel defensive and appreciative at the same time, so you are much more likely to use differences of opinion as opportunities to find win-win solutions where you can both benefit.

When you practice appreciation often enough, it becomes your basic approach to life.

There is much more to be said about appreciation.

Dr Noelle Nelson, psychologist and author, wrote several books on the subject, including a book called Your Man is Wonderful.

Gerald G. Jampolsky, author of Teach Only Love says ‘appreciation is much more than a feel-good mantra. It is an actual force, an energy that can be harnessed and used to transform our daily life – relationships, work, health and ageing, finances, crises, and more.’

Appreciation works in conjunction with The Law of Attraction and the Art of Allowing. The Law of Attraction is about feeling the feelings of already having the thing you desire before you have it. And appreciation helps you to feel those feelings so you can bring the things and experiences you want into your life.