STOP!
Imagine for a moment you’re in a situation where you do not know what to do. You’ve explored the options, you’ve asked for advice, you’ve tossed and turned many a sleepless night and you are still none the wiser.
You keep doing what you believe is the right thing. You keep on taking action towards your dream. You face the fear and do it anyway. You overcome the resistance and battle your doubt. You keep on being brave and showing up.
And you have little to show for it.
When you voice your concerns to your friend, mentor, coach, you get this sterling advice: Trust the process.
I have been on both sides of that statement! The speaker always says it with total conviction. Those times I gave that reassurance, I did it because I was convinced. It came from a knowingness deep inside me, welling up and bursting forth as the truth. ‘Trust the process.’ It is as though the speaker lends you their strength and belief to lean on since you’ve exhausted your own.
But what if you still don’t believe? When you are beyond trusting anyone’s advice, not even your coach and least of all your own instincts? When you think to yourself ‘What do I do now? It feels like I am spinning my wheels. I push here, there, everywhere and nothing is taking me forward?’
I hear you. I’ve been there. It is not much fun. So STOP! Stop what you are doing and proceed with caution as per Deepak Chopra’s STOP tool:
S – STOP
T – Take 3 deep breaths and smile
O – Observe the sensations in your body
P – Proceed with awareness
STOP! Acknowledge where you are. Make room for Divine Timing. God’s ‘clock’ and yours happen to be different. When the conditions are right, the right thing will happen. Let go of your expectations of when and how things ought to happen. It constrains the universe. Insisting on having it your way means stress and frustration for you. Besides, you might miss the answer to your question if it shows up in a different way. Leave wriggle room for the universe, expect miracles and be alert to be pleasantly surprised. Let go and let God. Keep a soft eye. Trust the process.
STOP! Acknowledge yourself: where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished, your successes, failures and the wisdom you gained along the way. Truly acknowledge your own AWESOMENESS.
Remind yourself how brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous you are. Keep this passage from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson close by for easy reference when you need reminding.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
STOP! A seedling, when it grows too fast, grows tall, lanky and topples over. Even propped up, it struggles to grow strong enough to stand on its own and bear fruit or flowers. It is easily overgrown by weeds and dies young. Give your seedling the space, the love, care, protection and nurturing it needs to emerge strong and magnificent; to bloom in joyous abandon and bear fruit abundantly, over and over again. Laying strong foundations will serve you well. You cannot build a cathedral on the foundations of a hovel.
STOP! Look at the eight or so major areas of your life: health and vitality, romance or significant other, personal development, spiritual connection, family and friends, fun, physical environment, finances, business, career or work, and emotional well-being.
For each area ask
• What is missing?
• What needs attention?
• What is not yet perfect?
Then wait for the answer to surface. Pay attention.
Especially those ones you would rather not notice!
It can be difficult to do this work on your own. You may want to work with a coach, a counsellor or mentor. Someone who will respect you and what you stand for; someone who will not judge you; someone who will listen rather than tell you what to do; someone you can trust and be totally open with.
STOP! Scolding yourself for things you have done or not done is self-attack. There is no justification for it. When you become aware of such thoughts, simply notice without judgement. Set your intention to stop all attacks, whether toward yourself or someone else. Commit to it and renew your commitment regularly. Then notice how over time you are less tempted to lash out at yourself and others.
STOP! Be patient. Rome was not built in a day. A Course of Miracles says ‘Infinite patience produces instant results’. What we really want is peace and if we hand over the issue to Spirit and detach from the outcome, peace is ours, instantly. The rest will show up in Divine Time.
Doing this work on ourselves is the hardest work we will ever do. It is also the most worthwhile. It is what A Course of Miracles refers to when it says “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
The more we rid ourselves of our distorted perceptions, false blame and guilt, the more peaceful our lives will become. As we make peace with ourselves, we bring peace to the world.
Then, like the Sufi poet Rumi, you can say: ‘Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.’
STOP! Trust the process. Enjoy the journey. You are doing sterling work!
Photo Credit: RgbStock.com
