What if I had married my childhood sweetheart?
What if I went to university?
What if my mother did not pass away?
Oh, how we can torture ourselves with questions about the past and imaginings of how our life might have been different if it was not for the ‘things that went wrong’.
It never gets us anywhere, except down in the dumps and on the slippery slope to depression.
What a game we play!
And there is nothing between us and playing this game, except our choice of thoughts.
Free choice
We can choose to play this what-if mind game, run these thoughts through our minds, think through all of what might have happened, what might not have happened, the joys we would have had instead of the sorrows our life circumstances brought us.
We are free to make up any story we want.
Or we can choose to play a different version of the ‘What if Game’, along the lines of ‘there are more things in heaven and earth Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’*
Some mind stretchers I have come across, include:
What if Princess Diana died to open the heart of England?
What if the Chinese government had to invade Tibet so the Dalai Lama would be forced to travel the world beyond the borders of his country?
Along with a few other examples as mentioned in Colin Tipping’s book, Radical Forgiveness.
Beyond the five Senses
We know there is more going on than what our five senses tell us about the world. There is, for instance, our intuitive or sixth sense.
There is a bigger picture, one we cannot tap into with our body’s eyes and ears.
So what is to stop us from making up stories about what is happening, taking into account things beyond our senses?
Let me give you an example. I met up with an acquaintance recently and the talk drifted to how A Course in Miracles says no one meets by accident. There is always a purpose. It may be as fleeting and simple as a child running into an adult and the adult not getting angry, to a lifelong association in a relationship.
It is not an accident
That prompted my companion to tell me of an incident he witnessed at a supermarket.
‘A few feet away from me, was a young child, about four, with his father. For some reason, the father was shouting and screaming at the child. The child was very upset, distressed and crying. Even with all of that, we made eye contact – the child and I. What about that? What would be the purpose of that?’
‘How do we know?’ I replied. ‘We are mere mortals, but what if you were in the vicinity to be an ally for this child? Beyond our senses, at a level we cannot see, that child would have sensed that from you. That you were there for support, comfort, strength and compassion.’
His eyes welled up. I could see that it had hit a nerve. It was a few moments before he whispered:
‘Wow! That is powerful!’
Wow! It was my turn to be speechless.
How unexpected! You never know what impact your words and actions will have on someone. I was deeply moved. Moments like these are a treasure for me.
But hey, enough of that, what’s the takeaway here?
Turn it upside down
We can play the What if Game the way we usually do, re-visiting and re-inventing the past, or we can change the rules, turn it on its head and play it the opposite way, making a 180° about turn.
And you know what? You will still be making it up!
But maybe, just maybe, when you enrich your story from the realms of ‘beyond your philosophy’ as Shakespeare refers to in Hamlet, you will come up with a more powerful story, a more compassionate story. One that will NOT lead you down the doldrums into depression; but one that lifts your spirit and gives you wings of happiness and joy.
After all, you ARE just making it up and telling yourself a story.
Makes you think, doesn’t it?
*from Shakespeare’s play Hamlet
Photo Credit: Arwenaa
