I have a friend who teaches mathematical concepts using balloons and soap bubbles at primary schools. She has a magical phrase she shares with the children:
Every outcome leads to learning.
It is very interesting to watch the children when she gives them a mathematical puzzle to solve. They look at each other. They look at their teachers. They look at the teaching assistants. They are looking for reassurance before they venture a response.
They don’t want to get it wrong.
It is too painful. The other children will laugh at them. The teacher may disapprove. Parents will be told and they’ll get it the neck at home as well. Experience has already taught them what ‘getting it wrong’ entails. So they hang back. Some of them may whisper a solution, hoping the teacher will give them a clue whether they are right or wrong. Invariable the teacher does and a learning opportunity is diminished.
The point of the exercise is to learn through experience, to see if your response takes you closer to or away from your desired outcome. It has nothing to do with right or wrong.
Afraid of making mistakes
Isn’t it sad that we teach our children that they have to get things right in order to be acceptable? We teach them to be afraid of making mistakes.
But none of us can move forward without making errors. How will you learn if you don’t fail? How will you learn if you don’t make a mistake? Every outcome leads to learning. Perhaps the outcome is not the one you have planned for, yet now you call it a mistake? And you’re telling yourself you’re a failure?
The story goes that Thomas Edison tested over 3000 filaments before he came up with his version of a practical light bulb. What if Edison had given up after the first test, or the tenth or the hundredth?
Persevere
When Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame started his fried chicken franchise business, he travelled widely across the United States looking for restaurant owners who would be interested in his chicken.
He was rejected on many occasions and laughed at because of the starched white shirt and white pants he wore. However, he persevered.
Eventually, after 1,000 visits, he finally persuaded Pete Harman in South Salt Lake, Utah to partner with him and “Kentucky Fried Chicken” was born.
There are many stories of people who had a dream and never gave up. They continued to apply themselves in the direction of their dream despite the obstacles in their way. They held the faith. They believed in their dream. They worked towards it despite the dream-bashers, naysayers, rejections, ridicule and for some, like Nelson Mandela, even imprisonment.
They were committed to their dream and when their own doubts and fears reared their ugly head, they faced their fears, dug deep into their psyche, enrolled the help of mentors and supporters and emerged stronger than ever.
Baptise it “Success”
Robin Sharma, author of The Monk who sold his Ferrari, writes:
“Failure tests us and allows us to grow. It offers us lessons and guides us along the path of enlightenment. The teachers of the East say that every arrow that hits the bull’s eye is the result of 100 misses. It is a fundamental law of nature to profit through loss. Never fear failure. Failure is your friend.”
Failure is only failure because you fail to see the opportunity. We get too close to our own affairs to see things objectively. That’s why it is helpful to have a coach or mentor who believes in you, is not in the thick of things, who can look at your situation objectively and can help you step back so the next steps reveal themselves.
Shakespeare taught us that “Nothing is either right or wrong, but thinking makes it so.”
Next time you have a “failure”, mine it for learning, then choose to baptise it “Success” and move on.
Photo Credit: RGBStock.com
