The festive time is notorious for nebulous arguments, bickering and disagreements to erupt and old family feuds to re-surface.

This was going to be a piece about peace and how three words, each starting with ‘P’ helps me maintain my peace, come Christmas or any other time.

And that is where the Big U intervened to teach me a lesson in acceptance, humility and presence, perfectly encapsulated in this quote by Ram Dass: ‘If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.’

Family Time

‘Stop it!’ we yell at our children. ‘Don’t hurt your sister!’ ‘You’re not the boss!’ ‘It’s your brother’s turn! ’ And other such phrases that we hope will buy us a moment of peace.

I remember it like it was yesterday, my parent’s reaction to their squabbling offspring. Soon enough it was my turn and you’d hear me, punctuating the sounds of sibling squabbles with a replay of yesteryear’s soundtrack. ‘Stop it!’ ‘Don’t hurt your sister!’ ‘You’re not the boss!’ ‘It’s your brother’s turn!’

It would be enough if it stopped there. But it goes on, as I discovered when we recently did a spot of babysitting two young ones, aged three and five. Delightful they are. Angelic even, until one of them upsets the other and all hell breaks loose. That’s when I hear my mother’s voice, no, my own, rise from deep within, playing out that age-old tune, in the same old way. That one that proclaims with menacing authority, ‘I am the boss. You had better listen to me. Or there will be trouble!’

I notice a number of things.

• They don’t listen. No change there then; my own simply ignored me.
• I am as impatient as ever. I want and expect instant obedience.
• I react instinctively despite years of immersing myself in personal development.
• I have no idea how to do it differently.
• I am humbly reminded of that quote: ‘If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.’

Nuf said.

By now you’re probably thinking ‘who does she think she is’ when it comes to things like Three P’s for Peace.

Exactly.

Best I go back and take a spoonful of my own medicine. So here it is. 10 tips for parents from a talk I gave earlier this year on A Course in Miracles and Parenthood. Don’t let that put you off. The Course deals with universal spiritual themes.

10 Tips for Parents and yours truly

1. Start your day with quiet time or at least as soon as your schedule allows.
2. Set your intention for the kind of day you want.
3. Apply and practice the lessons of the Course. Learning the lessons by heart is not going to do it for you. You actually have to apply the lessons and do it consistently. The ego; our earth guide is with us all the days of our life here in Earth school, so you will have need of those lessons while you reside on this plane. Get help. Work with a coach, a therapist, or a healer, if you need to. Sometimes we are too close to our own situation to understand what is going on. Learn how to have life-enhancing conversations so you can have those emotionally charged and difficult conversations where you feel in danger. Learn the skills so you don’t react in fear and risk the conversation turning destructive and end up arguing instead of staying in dialogue.
4. Teach your children to have such conversations. Those conversations have nothing to do with what you say; it has much to do with what you think before you say it and how you say it. Say it with love; say it with respect. It’s what is behind those conversations, in your heart space, that makes the difference.
5. Teach your children that God’s angels are around them. Children love to know about Angels and intuitively know and are comforted by that knowledge. ‘The Course says in the epilogue of the workbook: You do not walk alone. God’s angels hover near and all about. His Love surrounds you, and of this be sure; that I will never leave you comfortless.’
6. Take your problems: your busyness, your cares, your neurosis to the Holy Spirit.
7. Trust that your children come fully equipped with all their angles and guardians; everything they need for Earth school.
8. Trust that all will be well. God has your back. You do not walk alone.
9. Teach the principal rather than the rule. ACIM teaches principles; love, miracles, you are as God created you; atonement, and forgiveness. You teach this by demonstration, by being the love you are; forgiving; praying; opening your heart; accepting what is; choosing love over fear. Whatever you do; do it with kindness, do it with love.
10. Remember; your child is a child of God, just like you; a thought in the mind of God, just like you. They are spirit in a body, just like you. You have been entrusted with their bodies but not their souls.

Last Word

Do what you have to do to get peace in your heart. It is the best thing you can do for yourself; your family; your community; your country and the world.

It starts with you.

You, who are so loved. Unconditionally loved. Remember that always.

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